A return stroke, cloud-to-ground lightning strike. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
I read a recent article (here) that claimed men hate women because men feel powerless. Feelings of powerlessness create anger and men place that anger on something outside of them that they can blame.
Feelings of powerlessness, I thought, are not the purview of men. Instead, I might suggest that it is a human condition. Everyone feels powerless, and for some, it’s not fleeting, but a daily encounter. People do deal with these feelings in different ways, and blaming others is high on the list. Have you blamed anyone today?
Others deal with these feelings by seeking control and power out in the world. Maybe they achieve powerful positions or they look for ways to control others who they deem “lower” than them. External power may be inversely proportional to how powerless the person feels inside.
Why would I think this? Because this was true of myself! When I was the most afraid of being out of control, of being powerless, that is when I was most desperate to control the world around me.
As I grew older, and into my sense of Self, I no longer felt I needed to control everything in life to feel safe. I stopped needing to be in control. For me, the more connected I was to my own Self, the safer I felt, and the less outward control was needed. This was true even when chaos was happening! I was able to let go of the need to control life, which was so freeing, requiring much less energy! I can actually feel powerful without controlling anything!
So, how can we cultivate the sense of Self and safety so that we can feel powerful on the inside?
1) Don’t rely on others to keep you safe. Your safety comes from how centered you are in yourself. Period.
2) If you’re feeling powerless, move first to connect with your center, the core of who you are. Some people refer to this as connecting with source, or their higher selves. Others say they are connecting with their heart. However you think of it, the result will be centering and grounding. The emotion is simply neutral.
3) From this neutral state of connection, you are your most powerful because you can clearly notice your alternative choice for reaction or movement in relation to any issue that is distressing you.
Notice how easy it is from this powerful place of connection to you limitless self to let go of blame, to see the larger picture, to realize that others around you are acting out of fear rather than a desire to make you feel powerless!
Practice and amplify this state as often as you can!
And teach it to your children, both the boys and the girls.
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